Tahun Empat

This will be an exciting year.
Psy'chia'try, O&G, Paeds.

Last year has been a rather disappointing year.. This year will be different.
I will stick to my new groupmates and suck some hardworking juice from them muahaha.

Unlocked

Often, too often, we blame others for not understanding us. We expect people to know us, like the back of their hand, like a hookworm residing near our cerebral cortex.
Have you ever wondered, how much do you even know yourself? :)

We know ourselves less than we thought. Really.
(Try describing yourself in 3 paragraphs. Show it to your closest friends and see if they agree with you. You'll be surprised!)

Everybody is entitled to have their own opinions.
To a certain extent, what they think do matter. Perhaps too much, sometimes. But isn't the most important thing is that they are wiling to listen to what you have to say, and that they would still give you their full support?

Friends may not agree with you all the time. Friends may not understand everything that you do. But they're willing to stand by you through it all. Isn't that enough?  :)




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黑暗中 寂静伸出的双手 
冰冷的空气像火 害怕又收手 
 

路太远 谁的眼神能永远 
忘了跟你一起走 怎样才会懂 
 

记忆里 爱应该总是温柔 
有了这一切 才能不怕黑夜 
 

是我勇敢太久 
决定为你一个人而活 
不能说出口 那么折磨 
 

勇敢了太久 
城市充满短暂的烟火 
无处躲 
照亮了沉默 爱原来寂寞 
 

谁说过 爱会让人不自由 
所以你要我等候 换你的追求 
有太多 快乐自私做藉口 
你让我最后 把心痛等永远

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Love.
We're all at the giving end as well as the receiving end. Granted, it may not be for and from the same person, but we love and we're loved.
Sometimes I do wonder, whether they are worthy of the love given.
I wonder, if I deserve what is given to me.

Love is never a balanced equation. One side is always more than the other. 

Be nice to those who's willing to walk a thousand miles to bring you the shiny pebbles you've always wanted. Things that people on your receiving end aren't willing to provide for you.

We keep telling ourselves its OK, because we didn't order them to do it for you. "They willingly did it for us. Why do we have to be responsible for it? "

We abuse those who gave us their love, we take them for granted. Just like how those whom we're giving our love to are abusing us, taking us for granted.


It's a blessing to receive. Because, deep in our hearts we know it, we don't deserve to receive in the first place.


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突然发现站了好久  不知道要往哪走 　　
还不想回家的我 　　再多人陪只会更寂寞 　　

许多话题关于我 　　就连我也有听过 　　
我的快乐要被认可 　　委屈却没有人诉说 　　

夜把心洋葱般剥落 　　拿掉防卫剩下什么 　　
为什么脆弱时候 　　想你更多 　　

如果你也听说 　　有没有想过我 　　
像普通旧朋友 　　还是你依然会心疼我 　　
好多好多的话想对你说

 

悬着一颗心没着落 　　要怎么附和 　　
舍不得又无可奈何 　　

如果你也听说 　　
会不会相信我 　　
对流言会附和 　　还是你知道我还是我 　　
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 　　懂我的人就你一个 　　
想到你想起我 　　胸口依然温热

The Wisdom of Paper Folding

It's quite interesting, really.
How many times do you think you can fold a paper?

Seven times at most. Try it.

Just imagine, how thick would the folded paper become after folding for, say, 50 times?
Let's think of this using our math knowledge.
Standard paper size - 0.05mm.
Every time the paper is folded, the total height is the current height times two.

So... Total height = 0.05mm X 2^(times folded which in this case is 50)

You'll be surprised with the answer.
And guess how far is the Sun is from Earth?
Guess what happens if you fold the paper for 51 times?

Cool.

Fear

.... Can make one do crazy, horrible things.

Fear..
of dying.
of loved ones dying.
of pain.
of God.
of being alone.
of starving.
of losing.

All you need to know is which is the right button to push.
And you'll tip that someone over to the dark side. Get them to do whatever you want.
Murder, suicide bombings, suicide, robbery, theft, lies..

Human nature?


Someday, when some funky one-eyed aliens decide to wipe out our race and what's left of our pathetic civilization,
we will plead for mercy, asking 'what have we done to deserve to die?'

But we will never ask ourselves this: do we deserve to survive in this universe?

Maybe we don't.

Merry Christmas

...Eve.


It's been long enough. :)

1. 
I'm officially a year-4 now!!! I was so glad to know that I passed. Celebrations anyone? :)
I literally couldnt sleep before that. Yes the exams were that bad for me sigh. Kept me wondering whether I could pass or not.

2.  
2 more months to go.

I missed the times when I have to sneak into the cinema to watch 18SG movie which hardly deserves the rating. The thrill of not getting caught despite the uniform, the palpitation when handling over the movie ticket.

And here I am, waiting to be of age for casino (not that I want to gamble in casino though). After that, the more appropriate word to be used is 'grow old' instead of 'grow up'. Right? :)

It's interesting, really. How time seem to be rolling faster than ever after secondary school. It's been 4 years since SPM can you believe it? The other day while I was stalking on facebook a then-form-1 girl who used to kick my ass in chess, I was shocked to see on her status that she sat for SPM this year. Like. wow. 4 years. (and she still look the same. not a compliment :P)

2011 is coming soon. I feel obliged to talk about how's the year has been for me. Especially since I've neglected this blog for so long. :P

My 20th year has been, I dare say, one of the most interesting year of my life. :)

My 20th birthday celebration.

I know I used to whine a lot. It's my way of trying to get some attention even though I know its extremely annoying muahahaha.
But thanks for sticking with me despite my flaws. :)

Forgive me, sometimes (most of the time) I try too hard to be special, to feel special. To feel like a damn disney princess. (oh did you know I just came back from Disneyland?) 
Looking back, I realised how pathetic I was. All I ever have to do is be myself. Cliche, I know.
If only I knew how special and important I already was to them, if only I can see how loved and blessed I was. :)

Dont you ever wish you were someone else, you were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Listening to the song still bring tears to my eyes sometimes, after all these years. Song for me to listen only when I'm emo.

Terence you have been missed!
We both are people who dont talk much. Or at least when we're with each other :P
But we have our moments - Pizza Hut, 1U, Delicious, random cafe behind It Roo :)

Stella, Evonne and Jo.
People who were there, still there, and I know, will always be there :)

 Melaka Trip

One fine day we decided to drive there, stay in a random hotel and walk the streets of Melaka.
Chicken rice balls, A Famosa, Zoo, night market, satay celup, Jonker street. What else is there in Melaka? Let's do this again! Anywhere. :)

Broga Hill climb

Special thanks to Hans for bringing us up there. Really nice scenery up there. The fresh air, the hike, the people.

Hans - my housemate. A very brotherly figure. Always taking care of me, giving me advice, letting me know that he's there for me even though I almost never really did open up to him. It really warms my heart knowing I have a friend like him. :)

Genting Trip

Ma Lat Lou's second trip together, after the Penang trip the previous year.

Every guy has his own heng dai gang. This is mine.

Together we've been through conflicts, arguments, good times, bad times, fugly times. 8 years of friendship and still counting!
I like the way we can talk about anything - anything at all *winks*.

Basketball

Played so much basketball this year, thanks to Niyi who's always semangat and organizing.
After so many years of playing, I still suck at it haha. I really dont know why. But it's fun to play. As long as the game dont get too competitive.. :D

 Housemates

The usual people

We've been together since year 1. I dont really remember how it all started, but I know this thing we share will go a long way. :)

Tim's a really good friend. We dont talk much, but I know that he's always willing to give me a hand when I'm down. I always feel bad, for not caring about him enough. Something I would change in the next year. Promise.

Nick and Rachel.

Nick's like the landlord, making sure the house is habitable for both Hans and lazy me :P 

They did something really sweet for my birthday. Came home and found a com with slideshow and songs in my room.

Throughout the year, they have been really caring, Rachel especially. She's one of the few people who would go out of her way to make sure I'm okay, to talk me out of depression.

Hey, if you're reading this, just wanna tell you that I will always remember the big sister moment of yours haha. Thanks for that anyway, and happy birthday! :)

Sarah's coming back in a few days. She's been gone for almost a year..

Gosh I missed her so much. A very motherly figure in my life - always saying the right words when I needed them the most, supporting me when I'm hurting, keeping all of us in one piece. Someone I have not cared enough.. Someone I will care more for.

Grace. The happiest friend I know. Not happiest in the sense that she's always happy. But in the sense that she's always trying her best to make everyone happy, even when she's sad and hurt. That's what I admire her most. I'm sure her friends know this - being with her usually guarantees a happy and fun outing :)

 Group A

 Had a really fun time with them. Hope our group remains the same :)
Arif the ex leader with coffee addiction and currently coke-free.
Jaja the person I bully most :P
Isuru the bad influence haha.

Cyber cafe sessions, DotA, boardgames. We had so much fun in JB!
Thanks Ali, Hans, Isuru, Arif, Jo :)

Girlfriend. 'Nuff said haha. :)


3.
He was never a knight. Just a coward in armor on a horse, turning away at the first sign of trouble.

4.
I know I haven't been a good friend to many people out there. I'm very sorry.. Really. I'll try to be a better friend.
I'll be content.
I'll try my best to make people around me happy :)
That's a promise.

5.
Just finished reading October Skies by Alex Scarrow.Best 8 ringgit I've ever spent on a book :)

6.
Merry Christmas!
May all your christmas wishes come true. :D