Fear

.... Can make one do crazy, horrible things.

Fear..
of dying.
of loved ones dying.
of pain.
of God.
of being alone.
of starving.
of losing.

All you need to know is which is the right button to push.
And you'll tip that someone over to the dark side. Get them to do whatever you want.
Murder, suicide bombings, suicide, robbery, theft, lies..

Human nature?


Someday, when some funky one-eyed aliens decide to wipe out our race and what's left of our pathetic civilization,
we will plead for mercy, asking 'what have we done to deserve to die?'

But we will never ask ourselves this: do we deserve to survive in this universe?

Maybe we don't.

Merry Christmas

...Eve.


It's been long enough. :)

1. 
I'm officially a year-4 now!!! I was so glad to know that I passed. Celebrations anyone? :)
I literally couldnt sleep before that. Yes the exams were that bad for me sigh. Kept me wondering whether I could pass or not.

2.  
2 more months to go.

I missed the times when I have to sneak into the cinema to watch 18SG movie which hardly deserves the rating. The thrill of not getting caught despite the uniform, the palpitation when handling over the movie ticket.

And here I am, waiting to be of age for casino (not that I want to gamble in casino though). After that, the more appropriate word to be used is 'grow old' instead of 'grow up'. Right? :)

It's interesting, really. How time seem to be rolling faster than ever after secondary school. It's been 4 years since SPM can you believe it? The other day while I was stalking on facebook a then-form-1 girl who used to kick my ass in chess, I was shocked to see on her status that she sat for SPM this year. Like. wow. 4 years. (and she still look the same. not a compliment :P)

2011 is coming soon. I feel obliged to talk about how's the year has been for me. Especially since I've neglected this blog for so long. :P

My 20th year has been, I dare say, one of the most interesting year of my life. :)

My 20th birthday celebration.

I know I used to whine a lot. It's my way of trying to get some attention even though I know its extremely annoying muahahaha.
But thanks for sticking with me despite my flaws. :)

Forgive me, sometimes (most of the time) I try too hard to be special, to feel special. To feel like a damn disney princess. (oh did you know I just came back from Disneyland?) 
Looking back, I realised how pathetic I was. All I ever have to do is be myself. Cliche, I know.
If only I knew how special and important I already was to them, if only I can see how loved and blessed I was. :)

Dont you ever wish you were someone else, you were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Listening to the song still bring tears to my eyes sometimes, after all these years. Song for me to listen only when I'm emo.

Terence you have been missed!
We both are people who dont talk much. Or at least when we're with each other :P
But we have our moments - Pizza Hut, 1U, Delicious, random cafe behind It Roo :)

Stella, Evonne and Jo.
People who were there, still there, and I know, will always be there :)

 Melaka Trip

One fine day we decided to drive there, stay in a random hotel and walk the streets of Melaka.
Chicken rice balls, A Famosa, Zoo, night market, satay celup, Jonker street. What else is there in Melaka? Let's do this again! Anywhere. :)

Broga Hill climb

Special thanks to Hans for bringing us up there. Really nice scenery up there. The fresh air, the hike, the people.

Hans - my housemate. A very brotherly figure. Always taking care of me, giving me advice, letting me know that he's there for me even though I almost never really did open up to him. It really warms my heart knowing I have a friend like him. :)

Genting Trip

Ma Lat Lou's second trip together, after the Penang trip the previous year.

Every guy has his own heng dai gang. This is mine.

Together we've been through conflicts, arguments, good times, bad times, fugly times. 8 years of friendship and still counting!
I like the way we can talk about anything - anything at all *winks*.

Basketball

Played so much basketball this year, thanks to Niyi who's always semangat and organizing.
After so many years of playing, I still suck at it haha. I really dont know why. But it's fun to play. As long as the game dont get too competitive.. :D

 Housemates

The usual people

We've been together since year 1. I dont really remember how it all started, but I know this thing we share will go a long way. :)

Tim's a really good friend. We dont talk much, but I know that he's always willing to give me a hand when I'm down. I always feel bad, for not caring about him enough. Something I would change in the next year. Promise.

Nick and Rachel.

Nick's like the landlord, making sure the house is habitable for both Hans and lazy me :P 

They did something really sweet for my birthday. Came home and found a com with slideshow and songs in my room.

Throughout the year, they have been really caring, Rachel especially. She's one of the few people who would go out of her way to make sure I'm okay, to talk me out of depression.

Hey, if you're reading this, just wanna tell you that I will always remember the big sister moment of yours haha. Thanks for that anyway, and happy birthday! :)

Sarah's coming back in a few days. She's been gone for almost a year..

Gosh I missed her so much. A very motherly figure in my life - always saying the right words when I needed them the most, supporting me when I'm hurting, keeping all of us in one piece. Someone I have not cared enough.. Someone I will care more for.

Grace. The happiest friend I know. Not happiest in the sense that she's always happy. But in the sense that she's always trying her best to make everyone happy, even when she's sad and hurt. That's what I admire her most. I'm sure her friends know this - being with her usually guarantees a happy and fun outing :)

 Group A

 Had a really fun time with them. Hope our group remains the same :)
Arif the ex leader with coffee addiction and currently coke-free.
Jaja the person I bully most :P
Isuru the bad influence haha.

Cyber cafe sessions, DotA, boardgames. We had so much fun in JB!
Thanks Ali, Hans, Isuru, Arif, Jo :)

Girlfriend. 'Nuff said haha. :)


3.
He was never a knight. Just a coward in armor on a horse, turning away at the first sign of trouble.

4.
I know I haven't been a good friend to many people out there. I'm very sorry.. Really. I'll try to be a better friend.
I'll be content.
I'll try my best to make people around me happy :)
That's a promise.

5.
Just finished reading October Skies by Alex Scarrow.Best 8 ringgit I've ever spent on a book :)

6.
Merry Christmas!
May all your christmas wishes come true. :D

Grumpy

I have been waiting all my life.

Haven't been sick in a long time. I've always been very proud of my immune system.
Must have met with a supervirus.

Was really grumpy today due to sickness. *sneezes and makes the 12391057th wanton today*
Mind you, even I dont want to be around myself when I'm this grumpy.
She stayed with me the whole day. 




I think I dreamed you into life.

half a bread

It was a cold day.

He tightened his grip on his blanket as he shivers, cursing at the freezing wind which sent chills down his chest every now and then. Homeless and hungry, he sold his other blankets in exchange of food- food that kept him full and warm temporarily, food that can never truly satisfy his hunger. Holding on to his last, he swore he will keep it for himself.

A rich man, dressed appropriately for the weather, stopped by and offered him some leftover bread. An act of kindness. He smiled and said, "thank you, sir, but I'm no beggar."
He has been one for many years, but that doesn't mean he likes to be one. Perhaps the the cold has driven him insane, to refuse food especially in this weather.
The rich man, displeased with the response, left without another word.

Another poor man came along and sat near him, holding a piece of bread in his hands. Fresh from the oven, judging by the warm steam coming out of the bread. As he is about to munch on the bread, he saw his neighbour in the corner of his eyes, shivering in cold and hunger. Without breaking for hesitation, he broke the bread into two equal pieces, and offered one half to that man.

Another act of kindness. Both the rich man and poor man offered half a bread. The difference is that the rich man had half a bread to spare. The poor man does not.

Stream of tears warmed his cold cheek as the man with the blanket took the bread from the other man.  He asked the man to sit beside him, and shared his blanket with him. Together, they ate the bread.
The air was cold, but their hearts were warm.

Yup.

1. Hey folks I'm back in KL!
2. Chaos in the Old World is so much fun! Won 2 out of 5 games muahaha. I kinda suck in other games bleh.
3. Studies are back on the pace again.
4. Lazio - carbonara, Hutan Bandar - cheap chicken chop and fish n chips, It Roo - chicken chop chop, KFC - zinger and cheezy wedges, McD - icecreams. They have never tasted so good before yum.
5. Selamat Hari Raya!
6. I've found the future owner of the ring
7. Life's full of surprises.
8. My legs still hurt from basketball training. UPM here we come!